Sick!!

I fell sick on sunday.. You know, the kind of sickness which progresses slowly while you're awake and you have the luxury of slowly feeling every part of your body shut down and weaken due to the disease. Normally I would fall sick after waking up in the morning and realising that my body doesn't feel right. But this time, I had the "pleasure" of feeling my body slowly degenerate. I ended up with a sore throat, mild tonsilitis, slight fever, throbbing headache and frequent high fluctuation of body temperature every 15-20 mins..

Being sick has forced me to spend more time in bed.
And thus, more time for me to think,
To daydream,
And as such,
Past issues,
Things I had wanted to forget,
Has been awakened.

As mentioned,
Put aside,
Forgotten,
All means they weren't meant to be remembered,
They weren't meant to be recorded,
They were things of the past,
Whose presence brought hurt,
Pain..

The more I tried to forget,
The more I remembered,
And the more my heart cried.
Outwardly I was fine,
I had forgotten how to cry,
But inside hurt so much I wasn't sure I could recuperate..

I cared.
I still care.
I'm sure I would always care.
I know it's not my position to care anymore,
But I can't help it.
The more I try not to,
The more I notice,
And the more it affects me.

Thus, praise God,
He reminded me,
He was still there,
He had never left,
But I was the one who rejected Him,
I was the one who was unhappy at His decision,
I was the one who was impatient,
He called,
Never ending,
Never ceasing,
Always waiting,
Until I finally heard,
I finally responded,
I finally said,
"Lord, I'm sorry,
Please help me,
I'm unable to walk this path alone,
It is too hard for me,
But with You,
Nothing is impossible,
Nothing is improbable,
And everything will turn out for the better,
When You have a hand in it."
And He heard me,
He held me,
He hugged me,
He carried me,
He wept and said,
"My son,
It's been so long,
I'm glad you've finally came back,
Now let me carry you through your turmoils,
Let me soothe your pain,
Let me cover the past,
And show you the future,
My plans for you,
Always for your good,
I LOVE YOU."

Finally, something which gets me going when I'm down,
From the song, Hey Whatever by Westlife,

Well I can't control the universe
'Cause I'm only a man
I may read the papers
But they won't tell me who I am

And if you really need a new philosophy
Well there's one that makes sense
The one I prefer is

I say HEY WHATEVER
Let your beauty come alive
Let your color fill the sky
And SAY WHATEVER
Why don't you liberate your mind
Let your color fill the sky

Amen. All glory and praise to the Lord most High. (",)