An Eventful Day...

Friday. 13th February. Friday the 13th. I wonder...

I was put on one of the sponsor teams to go to airlines and student travel agents to ask for sponsorships for the One Life Event we're organizing. And thus, I was paired up with WanSim. So we left early in the morning, after I dressed up really formal and had WanSim do up my hair..

1st stop was SIA. And unfortunately the General Manager wasn't present. So we presented our proposal to the highest in command at the office and she told us to e-mail her the proposal so she could forward it to her Manager. And only on Monday would they converge and hold a meeting to discuss our sponsorship offer. I have faith that God will provide funds through them and however much would be enough.

Then the time was very "alang-alang".. Didn't have enough time to travel to the next agent but yet too early for class.. So in the end, the decision was to go to class and revise our russian (yes, it's russian class.. my "favourite"-sarcastic). Ooh, I had a blast telling everyone who asked why we were dressed up so formally that we were out on a date.. (",) Obviously everyone knew I was joking away as usual. *Aaron the clown/big mouth*

And then, it was time for russian class. My new teacher, Nika, is super cuuute!! Omgosh.. She could be my age.. Imagine my sister trying to teach me russian.. Wow.. But we had much fun conversing with her. She's ukranian, lives westward on the outskirts of Moscow and travels 30mins everyday to get to class. And she was like, couldn't close her mouth at all. She would smile at every little thing and her smile is the sweetest.. (But of course there are 3 other people whose smile is sweeter than hers, 1st, my mom, 2nd, my sis, 3rd, a girl, younger than me, but not telling her name.. =p) If I have the opportunity, I'll get a picture with her and put it up for you all to see.. (",) Patience..

After class.. Rush to Alamin Travels. Ah.. WanSim and I, we had fun.. She went there before. But by walking. Thus, this time, she got instructions from a junior about how to take a bus there. And so, we got out at the crossroads, went to the bus stop and got on bus no.121. And we traveled. From M.Profsayousnaya, passed M.Akademicheskaya, made a turn.. And I started to suspect something was wrong.. But WanSim reassured me. She told me that we wouldn't get lost and that all we had to do was sit tight and we would arrive. So I relaxed. Looked at the scenery, observed a shopping mall and hypermarket that I made note to visit someday. We passed a nuclear reactor too. My first up close. (",) And then, WanSim started to freak out.. And then it was my turn to chill her out. So we sat in the bus till it reached M.Tolskaya, super far away according to my map. And we had to take the metro back to M.Profsayousnaya. *chuckles* Crossroads remember? So, there are 4 directions to go in. She took me on the wrong one. =p It took us an hour to travel some place that would normally take 5 mins. But it was great experience. You know the irony of it? The agent we were supposed to meet wasn't there, it was his day off.......

Hahaha.. That sure was fun. (",) In a way......

Later back at home, I had to prepare the Valentine's Day dedications to our hostel. I had suspected but had never expected so many dedications. Seems like there are so many people who like other people whether openly or secretly. Well, my friends who were also in charge of this event helped me to deliver the roses and tiramisus. And it was fun, but was waay past my bed time.. And God is really humorous.. I remember telling myself that I would have a quiet Valentine's Day alone to rethink about my problem last time. But I ended up with 2 roses and 3 tiramisus. I only expected 1 tiramisu because I made a deal with a friend who also wanted to try out the tiramisu that we would send dedications to each other. But I didn't realise I would receive so many.. I really didn't know what to do..

In the end, I decided to enjoy whatever came to me as a blessing from God since this will probably my first and only time receiving something unexpected on Valentine's Day. Of course I gave a few special gals gifts, but they were nothing more than a gesture of love and friendship and thanks.

Here are some pictures of me looking handsome with a pretty partner when we had to dress up to go look for sponsors. And some of my Valentine gifts.. (",)



















Me, WanSim and Vashni..3 business professionals.. (",)


















Me and Vashni..wide sweet smiles =)


















And poor WanSim doesn't know how to smile.. XD













3 tiramisus..













3 dedications..


















2 roses. 1 isn't mine. (",)

There you have it. My day before Valentines. May be back with more for Valentine's Day..

The Most Stressful Day Currently.. (I'm sure more stressful days are yet to come)

Well, life started as usual yesterday..:

5.30am-Started my fast and pray for the One Life Event.

6.30am-Prepared my stuff for classes that day.

9.00am-Out the door and going for biochemistry lecture.

11.20am-Lecture ended. Now i needed to reregister my visa because I left Moscow for a little while..

11.40am-Reached the dean's office. And this is where my day really begun..

The visa department only starts working at 2.30pm. But from past experiences, the place will be jammed packed full with students rushing to submit their visas. And so, arriving on time is a great mistake which any freshman would learn pretty fast. Thus I already decided to wait as the first in line from 11.40am-2.30pm. I had with me my 'KaChe' and HanYin for company. And I was only supposed to do our 3 visas.

So we bided our time by chit-chatting, by completing our lecture notes, by playing games, gossiping.. And time crawled by. And finally, the long awaited hour arrived. 2.00pm. The place was already packed like a sardine can. People were squeezing everywhere and it was all I could do to remain in my first student spot in front of the door. Can't understand what I'm going through? Let me give you a picture. MMA has approximately 3300++ medical students currently studying there. And their office is a 5x8m space connected to the outside world by a 3x50m corridor. And since the government required every student to submit their visas within 3 working days from arrival, and this Tuesday was their first working day of the week. So if 10% of students went for holiday (which by the way is too few), there would be about 330 students crammed into that narrow corridor awaiting their turn..

By 2.20pm, I had 14 passports with me from late hopefuls and I was already worried about what was going to happen to me inside that office. And time stood still.. Second by second till 2.30pm, it was painful to wait. But finally, the door opened and I was pushed in by the russian gal behind me. And the problems began.

Some smart kid told her friend that the visa obtaining paper wasn't required for submittion since we were submitting our original visas. What a big mistake that was and the amount of trouble it caused me was to no end. My russian isn't very good and I couldn't really understand what was needed of me. So the lady behind the counter was starting to get really pissed off and on top of that, the crowd outside was pushing to get into the office. The russians were the rough rude ones and wouldn't even back off when scolded by the administration.

Anyway, I had to call Richelle to bring those papers up for the late additions and I still tried to get the visas submitted. And each time I opened the door to the corridor, I would be greeted by a crowd of bodies jammed tightly there and I had to be careful not to let them burst in while trying to get the items needed from friends stuck outside..

Praise God, finally, I managed to get 13 passports registered and I was told to get lost. And the lady behind the counter wished me luck trying to get out. (",) I had to man handle my way out of the office and forcefully push my way past the corridor to the open air in the lobby.. And even that was nearly packed. And when I looked at my watch.. 4.30pm. Goodness!! What happened to the time..?

My 'KaChe' calmed me down and we went home together. And praise God, my roomies cooked dinner for me and were waiting for me to break fast together.. Sigh, the food was sooooo good.. Then I had assignments, responsibilities as Program Leader for the One Life event to complete. Even the highest boss called me and gave me a short but extremely saturated 10mins lecture. Ooh.. Stress. And I still had to run errands for 14th Feb and Neils Isaac's birthday card.

I really thank God that I was able to sleep at 11pm to prepare for my next 5.30am wake up. And thus so ended my hectic day. I'm sure Wednesday isn't so bad. Will it? *.*

PS. I talked to C today and she talked to me too. And even though it was only about the One Life Event stuff, it felt really nice to be on talking terms with her again. Although it wasn't very comfortable but I'm still happy that it's progressing nicely. God still has a lot of work to do on me until I can see her as a good friend and talk comfortably to her without feeling my face heat up and adrenaline pump. Or that I wouldn't try my best to avoid her.

I wonder.. What do I feel now.. Love should last forever, through thick or thin and no matter whether the target responds or not.. But, I'm confused, what do I feel now.. Is it love that tells me to drop all my feelings and get back to normal or is it the puppy love that's finally going away.. I was so sure it was real love. What happened to me..?

The First Day Of The Second Semester Of Second Course..

What would you do if every time you fell in love with someone,

you had to say goodbye...

What would you do if every time you wanted someone,

they would never be there...

What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy,

there would be 10 moments of sadness...

And finally...
What would you do if you loved someone more than anything else,

but you could never have them...

They say that love is patient and love is kind,
It does not envy not does it boast,
It is not proud.
It ain't rude nor self seeking,
yet is not easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongs,
delights with the truth and shunts evil.
And love will always protect,
Always trust,
Always hope,
And always persevere.

It is so easy to talk about such things,
And yet,
To show an action of love is so tough.
People talk about love all over the world,
But as the 'Black Eyed Peas' once said,
Where is the love?

If I really loved,
If it weren't just a fleeting feeling,
I know deep down inside,
That those are what I need to do.
To be patient and kind,
To not be envious,
To not be easily angered,
And forget all wrongs done to me.
Can I always protect, always trust,
Always hope, always persevere?

It isn't easy,
To see you everyday,
Even the thought that you might show up at anytime,
Keeps my heart pumping for quite a time..
This isn't good,
For it isn't what that should,
And it keeps me on my toes for quite some time,
Making me waste much of my non-returnable time.
Thus, I tell myself,
To not lose thyself,
But to try my best to keep away,
And to save my sorrows for another day.
It ain't easy,
To be so freely,
But for my sake, your sake, and most of all, God's sake,
I'll do my best, to show God's best, and most of all, to be your best.

...................................................................
Now now now, enough with all the emo crap.
About yesterday, I got up at 5.30am to begin my 20 day fast and pray for the upcoming One Life event being organized on the 1st of March. After bringing everything to God and letting Him take care of all our troubles and burderns, I began my day.

6.30am Packed my books for class that day.

7.00am Had breakfast of 2 soft-boiled eggs with my roommate Andrew.

7.30am Rushed out to catch the bus. Late already.

8.15am Entered the biochemisty department. Surprise surprise.. I actually arrived early..

9.00am Got the shock of my life when I found out that they changed my biochemisty lecturer and now I have a sad old lady who looks homely but is quite known for giving miniature tests every class.. Ooh.. Stressed..

11.30am Still staring blankly at my lecturer without understanding much of what she's saying. *Mental note to start studying.. DX'*

12.30pm Freedom!! ...for the time being. And made my way with my colleagues to the physiology department for lecture.

1.20pm Glasachev is exactly punctual..as usual.. And another mental note to really really truly start studying..

3.00pm Again, a punctual ending of class. To the minute exactly.. I wonder how much the dean is paying him.. (",) And I rush off to the library to return my books and get new ones for the new semester.

5.00pm Finally reach home.. Started grabbing stuff to cook. I made soup, vegetable soup..with pepper. And Vashni made black sauce chicken with red chili. Ooh. Was soooo good..

6.00pm Andrew, Marcus, Vashni, WanSim and I broke fast together. Marcus fell for the thumbs up trick and had to give thanks for our dinner.. =p

7.30pm Clearing and tidying up my study area. Getting rid of unneeded books and arranging new semester stuff..

9.00pm Prayer meeting. Was great as usual. But this time, I tried so hard, but it still didn't really keep me from getting distracted once in a while, cuz C was there. But I'm sure that's a good start cuz I didn't go wild inside. =) God will change me. And another mental note: Make sure Gan plays the guitar for prayer meeting tomorrow so I can concentrate on praying.

10.30pm Prayer meeting ended. I chased most people out of my room and went to sleep amongst the remaining chatter left by overenthusiastic people who needed to get some things done.

Next thing I knew was my alarm waking me up at 5am to get ready for my next fast and pray session. (",)

Be back soon, I hope.. God bless you all.

Going Back To Moscow..

Sorry for not updating my blog for awhile. But i've been busy settling down after arriving back in Moscow. Thus now, I'm taking a few minutes out to just go through what I've been through on the 6th February, the day I left home and everything comfortable and loved by me..














These are the stuff that I needed to bring back for other people.. My responsibility.. *.*















And these are my things, things I wanted to bring back with me..
I'm actually not sure how I managed to pack everything into that luggage bag and another box and still kept withing my 30kg limit.. =) Praise God..















I'll miss my "family" back in Malaysia..















KLIA. The train to the international departure hall.















My flight was at 2.10am. Look at the beauty of the night sky. Even without the creation of the sun, it still looks so pretty, so serene.. I remember being in denial when sitting in the train with my sister..















There.. Arrival.. By this time, I was at the stage of resignation already. Passed the stage of stress, worry, denial and now resignation. Resigned to do whatever I couldn't run away from..















My first time on Emirates. And I actually had to take a shuttle bus out to the airplane.. Goodness.. Is this how low Emirates is treated??















And hello Dubai.. Reached around 4am their time which would equal to about 8am Malaysia time..















And again, shuttle bus to the terminal.. =]















My first impression of Dubai.. Not too good.. Sigh..
















And the terminal..















And the people!!!!!! Omgosh.. And there were 8 lines for baggage scanning..















Wow.. But I still want a manual drive, white, Kancil to call my own..















Some of the unaffordable stuff on display..















My favourite.. Can't tell what are those? Dolphins!! *squeals*















And the duty free shop. Guess they cater for children too eh? Pretty good business management..















And the plane. Boarded after a gruelling 4 hours wait in dubai airport.. Look at the brightness of the sky.. Sigh..















And the plane..

And finally, glad to say, I made it back to Moscow safely. Praise God for the safe journey. Now gotta rush off to class. Guess I should leave my blogging to night time.. Aite, be back with more of my life as it comes at me, whether it be good or bad, enjoyable or intolerable, I'll still have to get through it.

Ah, my teacher had better be late.. !!!!

Unpleasant Memories..

I went yesterday to KL to meet up with some people and exchange things that I was responsible to bring back to Moscow for some friends. I also had a mission to accomplish in Russian Resources. Thus, I went down to KL as usual with my dad in the morning and while my dad went to work, I went around KL by myself to finish whatever I had planned to do. Little did I know, this wouldn't be a good day. I accomplished what I needed to do, but this trip brought back much memories. Memories that I needed to forget, memories that I needed to put behind me in order to move on. KLE, I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about. Look at my order of travel, tell me if any of those jog your memory.....





























I arrived at Kerinchi station as I did sometime ago in July/August 2008.





























And got off at KL Sentral. This was where I waited for you remember?





























This time, I had some time to chill, so I went to McD's to await arrival of my contacts. My very first Breakfast from McD's. (",)


































There, the packages for Andrew and Vashni.. (",)



































And next stop, Russian Resources. But no time to chit chat there like we did before and I rushed next to KLCC. Sigh. This place hurt the most. But I'm sure you've put them all behind you already haven't you, CK? I'm still trying. Do remember me in prayer..





























Remember our meal here?? Remember your hurt feet? Remember what I insisted on doing for you but you wouldn't let me and in the end I let you win? Sigh..





























Remember our walk under the sun? Our first time on an unofficial "date"? I can't remember what I was thinking then. But now, it hurts to remember. I need a good memory to override whatever happened here last year or I might never be able to enter KLCC again..


































Remember my hunt for perfume? Remember my dislike of Davidoff? I guess it should have made a statement at that time. Though, I do remember making a subtle decision to try to get used to Davidoff since you said you liked it..





























One good thing came out of this trip though, I had lunch at chili's. Guess what I had. Yeah, one order of Tostada Chips (bottomless). And I finished 3 rounds on my own for lunch. RM10++ only. Pretty worth it I guess.. And next, home. OOps.. There, the cat's outta the bag. My mom came with me to KL to do shopping but she went straight to KLCC. I only met her there for lunch after I completed all my assignments.

KLE. I'm trying. I'm really not sure how I'm going to face you back in Russia. But I'm going to tell myself to be optimistic about it. After all, how can I not try my hardest when you're already doing your best.. Do take care. And God.. Please change my mindset.. Help me change my mindset. I cannot keep harboring thoughts and feelings like this when they affect me and my studies and PR status greatly. Please....

The barbers

Decided to go to the barbers today. Because I suddenly realized that my sweat could drip onto my arms without even running down my face.. Meaning that my hair was so long that it already extended out past my cheeks and my forehead. So, my mom suggested I look something like this...
Turns out I wasn't as handsome as that fella. I turned out like this...
Darn.. I'm so unattractive. Perhaps with a little gel, hairspray, some self-esteem and maybe a girlfriend... =p

Deja Vu..

Here I am. Sitting at my table with my laptop in front of me and so unsure of what I wanna do or how I'm even feeling or thinking now. I'm so stirred up that I can't even think straight. My feelings and emotions are all jumbled up and I don't even know where to start putting them straight.. But I think I'll try. Because I'm very sure this exact moment in time has happened before. To the best of my memory, it has happened last summer, around mid August. Although, things are somewhat different now then they were last summer. I wonder if I even should put down my thoughts in words. I have never been any good at writing essays and even now, the points just don't come out right and I'm blabbing away about things that don't have any meaning at all.

Anyhow, I'll try to enumerate all the things that are hitting at me now..

1. Life sucks.
2. I want to go back to Moscow, Russia. At least there I'll only have my studies to worry about and nothing more. Here, I have to worry about my flight deadline coming in 3 days, I have to worry about whether or not I have packed everything I need to bring back to Russia. I'm responsible for the things of 3 people and I can not forget to bring any of those things back.
3. I'm bored. I have to get my things together. I have certain responsibilities to complete and thus, I don't have time to go hang out with my friends. The people I really want to spend time with, catching up and doing fun stuff that will help take my mind of the past.
4. I'm sick. I've caught the flu bug even though I didn't go bug hunting. Imagine how sucky it is when your nose runs non stop and your eyes are heavy and constantly tearing. Together with the constant sneezing. Ooh.. And my wisdom tooth is causing me trouble. Now my entire lower left jaw aches like mad. Chewing, yawning, smiling, laughing, talking, etc that uses my jaw hurts. And to top it all off, I have a throbbing headache. Ooh.. Lost my mood to do anything today and yet I have to really control myself from offending other people.. Thank God I still have enough self-control left to apologize to my mom the second I realise I'm barking at her instead of talking..
5. I want to run away from reality. I want to leave this life that I'm in now and enter a world of fantasy where everything I wish for comes true and my life is so easy without all the worries, stress, and emotional problems I keep coming up against..
6. I know very well no. 5 won't ever happen. I came across this phrase earlier today, "
   
   I could say I'm not sad, but I'd be lying.
   The problem is the world won't let me stay a kid forever.
   So I can't lie around crying about it either
   

   So, knowing the fact that I'll still have to endure life as it comes at me and there's no escape, it just makes me feel rather miserable.
7. And yeah. The biggest thing on my mind which I'm still trying to cover up and throw away. The fact that I'm currently alone in life and I've no one to rely or fall upon when in need of emotional support. Wish it was the time for me to have a girlfriend and that one would appear in my life. Why did this ever have to happen to me. Everyone has to be my friends now. I cannot allow another female within 10 feet of my heart. Thus, a wall has been built which I'm afraid to take down. And I really hope that this wall will not deter or turn away the perfect one planned for me from the very beginning.
8. I wonder if I've really neglected God..? I wonder if the quietness and loneliness I feel is due to the void in my heart.. I wonder if He has left me alone for awhile to stew in my problems and overcome them and learn the lesson He wants me to learn.. I wonder if I'm failing Him by what I've been doing..? I wonder why it has to be at this time that I have to go through all these problems of life. I wonder why He didn't make me an exception and give me a life worry free and smooth sailing in every aspect especially "love"..? I wonder........if I'll ever have an answer to these questions..

Guess what is going on while I'm crapping away, feeling sorry for myself and blaming everyone but myself?
Yeah.. You guessed it. 拜天公 firework celebration. Will I be able to sleep tonight? We'll see..