Down..

Feel a little down today..
More empty in a way..
It's company that I would like..
But from experience I know it isn't right..
It's God I'm missing..
However much I'm denying..
And I know it's time to have a talk with Him.

I feel lonely..
Like there's nobody..
I miss the company..
That used to be right beside me..
I wish it could come back again..
And ease a little of my pain..
Sigh, I guess it's time to talk to Him.

The past is the past..
And it should be like this till the last..
But bad times hit me..
As it does when I'm unhappy..
I'm emotionally drained..
But there's something to be gained..
It's time to talk to Him..

God please help me..
Fill me so that I won't be alone again..

A Little Reflection..

Was reminded today by someone/something about my old longing for a partner in life. I've been keeping myself busy wasting away doing nothing useful and so I didn't really have time to bother or worry about the fact that I'm still single. Whenever people remind me that my e-mail address is single_till2010@yahoo.com, I just laugh with them and brush off the comment that my deadline for being single is drawing near.

But all in all, I still feel the need for a partner in life. Someone who can stand my me and all my ideals and goals in life, who can help me and support me as we strive to achieve our goals in life.. I crave for the one who can hold me nand when I'm down and tell me everything is going to be okay. I look forward to the one who can hug me tightly and comfort me when my life seems to be crashing down in a way that it can't be rebuilt. I wish the day when the one I can love and care for the rest of my life would enter my world would come, and we could then begin a new chapter in the book of life in the kingdom of God. Albeit a little reluctantly, I also wait for the day when that special someone would tell me off whenever bad habits kick in and make me disgrace myself.

Sure, true friends can do some of these things. But there will always be a limit to what they can do as friends. As for only the special one and only can cross that barrier and reach close to the heart, give love the way God created man for and companionship. Oh, that the day would come..

But I was reminded also by a song a brother has blessed me with. It's called 好好恋爱 which means, a good courtship.
我的天父，可否让我好好的谈恋爱
不在流泪，不再伤痛，不再聚合又要分开
我的天父，我只想要安稳地找个人来爱
请让我知道那个人在不在

我的孩子，难道你忘记了我就是爱
学懂爱我，学懂爱你自己，你就懂好好恋爱
我的孩子，何不尝试安静得慢慢去等待
你就会知道那个人在不在

你是否愿意相信，每时每刻都在我手里
没有事情是太早或是太迟
愿意相信
我叫你顺服，我的旨意

愿意相信
没有事情是太早或是太迟
爱我的主，我愿意相信，万事万物都在你手里
请教我顺服，你的旨意

My Heavenly Father, can You let me have a good courtship
No more tears, no more pain, no more relationships that end in breaking up
My Heavenly Father, I only want to securely love someone
Please let me know if this person exists

My child, have you forgotten that I am love
Learn to love me, learn to love yourself, and you will know how to courtship
My child, why don't you try quietly and patiently waiting
And you will know whether or not that person exists

Are you willing to believe, every hour every second is in My Hands
Nothing is too early or too late
Willing to believe
I ask you to obey, My Will

Willing to believe
Nothing is too early or too late
The God who loves me, I am willing to believe, everything in this world is in Your Hands
Please teach me to obey, Your Will

Wow.. I'm learning to wait, and enjoy the wonders of being single when I still can. For I strongly believe, I wasn't meant to be alone. Somehow, I just feel that God's future plan for me doesn't involve me being alone. So I will wait. I will wait until God reveals to me just exactly what He has in store for me.

Amen. (",)

A Day Well Spent In KL.

Went down to KL with my dad today. Followed him down to his workplace which was in the tmnet building at Kerinchi then took his touch-and-go card and left.. =p

Firstly, I took the LRT to Ampang Park, where I overshot because I fell asleep and got off 2 stations past Ampang Park. I had to cross to the opposite line, wait for the next LRT then get back to Ampang Park where I waited for the U22 Rapid KL bus. The bus really took it's time coming and then didn't drop me off at the Ampwalk stop even though I pressed the stop button a few times. If I wasn't rushing for time, I would've probably given the driver a piece of my mind. Anyhow, I got off the next stop and backtracked walking to the Ampwalk offices where I made my way to Russian Resources to pay course fees for my sister and I.

I met my sister's ex-roommate's parents there. We spent a good 2 whole hours chatting and "gossiping" about the problematic MMA and it's agents-MosLanka. Mr Low from the Penang branch joined us and together, the four of us shared experiences and opinions. I left for lunch at noon and that was because Mr Low had a previous engagement which he had to rush off to. I had lunch at The Yellow Hat and had the set A which was coloured fragrant rice and chicken marinated and baked in pandan leaves. Wasn't too bad, actually exceeded my expectations. =]
*Charis, wonder if you remember The Yellow Hat or not.. =p*
**Too bad I didn't bring my camera, the coloured rice was something one doesn't see everyday**

After the meal, I contemplated 1 of 2 choices, I needed to get to the monorail to travel to my next destination and there were 2 ways of getting there:
1, I could travel by LRT 3 stops to the station connecting the monorail or
2, I could walk past 3 bus stops from the LRT station to the nearest monorail station.
I decided to save $$ and walked. Thank God the sun wasn't up and I reached the monorail without incident. A few smses from WS kept me company.

I travelled by monorail to Chow Kit station then walked on foot to the KLGH where opposite was my place of intention-Kamal's bookstore. Kamal's sold medical books/equipment/supplies besides the usual drinks and junk food. I bought the medical equipment I would need for my missions trip to Indonesia and those that I would need for my subsequent courses in MMA.

Sphigmomanometer, Stethoscope, Dissection kit, Penlight and Thermometer.

*Aren't they cool? I so feel like a doctor now..*

After purchasing, I had to walk back to the monorail station. Then I contemplated another 1 of 2 choices, I needed to get to KLCC which was next to Ampang Park to spend the rest of my day shopping and again, there were 2 ways to get there:
1, I could take the monorail to the station connecting to the LRT or
2, I could travel back to Bukit Nanas station, get down and walk back 3 bus stops to KLCC.
I chose the latter to save $$.

When I got to KLCC, the first thing I did was to get to an information counter and ask about the location of lockers if there were any. The answer came back negative. Then I asked for her opinion to keep the equipment I bought so I could enjoy my walk-walk in KLCC. She suggested I try the helmet storage in the carpark. I made my way there and found that it was LOCKERS!! But they were coin operated and required 2 50cent coins to operate. *I am still furious at the guy who canceled the RM1 coin* I didn't have 50cent coins, so I dragged the equipment back up to the shopping center and started to ask for change.
Guardian didn't have change.
*Saw maybank money changer*
Money changer only had notes, told me to go inside.
Guard told me to go ask at counter 4.
Counter 4 didn't have coins, she asked counter 3 and 5 and her boss, neither had.
Asked me to go to counter 7.
*Counter 7 was inside thick misted glass doors, scared me a little*
Asked for 2 50cent coins.
Girl searched her money box then apologetically told me she only had enough coins for 1 ringgit..
Sometimes life can just be so funny and so irritating at the same time. At least I was too tired and overjoyed to get pissed off. I smiled, exchanged the money, and thanked God for providing the means to store my stuff.

After storage, I went to Guardian to get medical supplies for my next few years in medicine.

Latex gloves, Face masks and a bottle of waterless disinfectant.

Then I started my "window shopping spree". I had wanted a backpack and a slingbag for quite some time and I put that as my mission for that day. I walked the entire 6 floors of KLCC, looked into every shop that sold bags and finally called my mom to ask for permission to spend a little more cash to get the bags that I thought were suitable for my needs and weren't too expensive.

Converse brand.
I've never heard of this brand before, guess that's why it's not that expensive..

So then, after I bought the bags, it was already 4.30pm and time for me to begin making my way back to my dad's office. So I shuffled to the lockers, got my belongings and staggered to the LRT station under KLCC. Wobbled in the transit, dragged my poor hurting feet to the office building and found a bench for a short reprive in the airconditioning. Sms-ed my dad to ask about timing and hobbled to the mart to buy H2O. Other than an ice-lemon-tea at lunch and a slurpee after Kamal's bookstore, this was my only life replenishment for the entire day..

Saw an "Archie" magazine in the mart and read it while waiting for my dad to finish off and come down. And of course, I could only read it standing up. So I was soooo glad when my dad came down and we went to the car and I was able to sit down for the journey home.

All in all, it was a good, well spent day.

PS. Praise God, I didn't have anymore problems and bad memories that ruin my day in KLCC unlike the last time I was there in January. That means I have finally been able to let go of Charis and take a step forward in life. Which also means I can now talk openly of her instead of using abbrevations. Thank You God for leading me onward.

My Busy Weekend.

Lemme see.. A quick recap of my weekend, my busy weekend on the 11th till the 12th of July.

11th July, Saturday.
Grandparents came down from Ipoh for an overnight visit. Because they wanted to see me and I couldn't go down to see them.. So sad.. I feel bad man.. Anyway, in the morning, my mom went to my aunt's for facial treatment and my grandparents went there first for lunch. Then in the afternoon, they came to my place for a chat, a rest then they went out for seafood dinner. But I didn't go. Because, my childhood friend and best buddy Kan Ming Wei had a birthday party at his place for a few people. Fella turned 21. So I went for his party.

Look at the food..


And drinks..


And *booze* =]


Got bored and crashed his room while he was downstairs.


Cake cutting time.


Of course we needed a little extra.. =p


And the result..


Us (except Sunny who left early)


Chun Tung and "Xinn Ee"


And our final shoot wif "Xinn Ee" on the floor.. =p

Reached home about 12.30am Sunday morning. At least I didn't get stoned, unlike a certain someone I know.. =]

12th July, Sunday.
Went to church in the morning. Then rushed off immediately to "The Curve/Ikea/Ikano Power Center/Damansara Utama" to meet up with my grandparents and my uncles, aunties and cousins. Went to this posh Chinese-Hokkien restaurant for lunch.

Name of the restaurant.


The interior design was kinda cool.


Pork cutlets and yam broth.


Lightly fried pork cutlets and yam sticks.


"white coloured red blood cells" according to my lil bro.


Pork intestine and tofu steamed in a whole bitter gourd.


Flattened fishballs and veggie stew.


Chicken.


Washed down with lemony warm water.

Ooh.. I'm hungry again.. Sweat.. (come to think of it, there are a lot of pork dishes.. hmmm, the adults ordered, we kids had no say in it..)
Later, we went to Ikea to get that free cup of coffee and chat awhile before my grandparents began their journey back to Ipoh. I also saw the dance mat for PC and I'm seriously considering buying it and bringing it to Moscow for exercise.. =p

I loooove dancing and singing.. Didn't you know that?

Seafood..!!

6 months..
It had been 6 months since I last ate fresh seafood.
Moscow does not have any rivers running from the sea to it.
Neither is it near any seas either.
So the only seafood I can get there are preserved/salted/expensive ones.

Today my dad said he wanted to treat us to seafood, so we went to Telok Gong which is somewhere near Port Klang where they do fishing and where the seafood would definitely be fresh.

Ooh.. The fresh fish..


And fresh "lala"


Fried "sotong"
*obviously much better than the ones my friends and I make by ourselves in Moscow*


Asparagus, not found in Russia


And lastly for the day, Crrrraaaabbb!!
Marmite flavoured.

Thank You God that I am able to eat and enjoy such sumptious foods.. =]

Birthday Lunch With Pastor Chi Meei.

Today, 2nd July, is Pst. Chi Meei's birthday. I found out from facebook, told my mom, she confirmed (somehow) and she called and booked lunch with Pst. Chi Meei. So after dropping my lil brother at school, we drove down to she place to pick her up. The we decided to go to Jusco's Oldtown White Kopitiam for lunch. Had fun telling her about fun and tough experiences in Moscow. Then after taking up most of the afternoon at the Kopitiam, we dropped her back at home and came back.

On the way back, I stopped by some fish stores to see if I could buy prawns or not. Too bad, there were none to be found at the moment.. So sad.. '=(

Anyway, finally got out of the house, even if for an afternoon.. Will there be more of such chances? I wonder..

Wasted..

My life is rather wasted at the moment. I don't have the freedom and resources nor time to do the things that I really want. Sigh..

Few quotes that I like:

Unless I grip the sword, I can not protect you;
While gripping the sword, I can not embrace you.

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow;
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead;
Just walk beside me and be my friend.

When life is good, we run ahead, leaving 1 set of footprints in the sand;
When life is rotten, God carries us, leaving 1 set of footprints in the sand;
So, although God is always with us, we only see 1 set of footprints in the sand.

One is reminded brutally of how time flies when one notices the season change.

God never moves;
If we feel distant from Him, we moved.

To be single or not to be single, that is the question;
Spring is here, love is in the air.

Life as it comes at me;
There were hard times, there were fun times;
There were tough times, there were easy times;
There were times with companionship, there were lonely times;
But during each and every time, God was there right beside me;
I just always failed to notice.

But who?
Is she right beside me or is it another bad dream?

I've met her and lost her;
It's all in the past now;
Wish I could've made it last in the present.

I will not admit the authenticity nor will I deny it;
Think what you will.


.................................................................................................................................................
These are a few lines I've used in my lifetime and I think they're my best quotes ever.. Loooove them. (",)